This Was Not Your Dream
by amberleigh90
Summary: Ten times during their relationship that they'll never forget. TGP. Damsay


_**Alrighty, here's the deal. This crazy monstrous story popped into my head and I couldn't ignore it no matter what I tried...so here's the Damsay fic I promised some of you.**_

_** Anyway, read on. Don't forget to read the end note. It's got an something important down there ;)**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>I don't know you, but I want you all the more for that.<strong>_

_The first time he took her to Derry with him._

He and Lindsay had gotten on a plane in LA, finding themselves in Derry 15 long hours later. His parents had greeted them both at the airport in Shannon with welcome arms, much to Lindsay's relief.

"I told you there wasn't a thing to worry about, love." She grinned, the term of endearment causing her cheeks to flush a deep red.

"C'mon you two. Get your bags so we can get on with the drive." Damian's mother ushered them over to where his father was standing, the bright purple suitcase on one side of him, and the burgundy one on the other.

"How much stuff is in your bag, Damo? Lindsay's is the lighter of the two!" Sleepy laughter escaped from his chest as he walked into the arms of his father. Only being able to understand her name in the sentence that came from the older man's mouth, Lindsay looked up with a quirked eyebrow.

"Well, this will be an interesting trip." She mumbled as the three McGinty's chuckled at her expression.

Damian walked over to her, slinging an arm over her shoulders and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "Don't worry Linds, I'm here to translate." She looked up at him and kissed his cheek, that lopsided grin that she loved forming on his face.

"That's what worries me, babe. I still need subtitles for you some days." Grabbing the handle of his suitcase, Damian pulled her along with him behind his parents.

Leaning down to her ear, he spoke in a low whisper so that only she could hear, "It only happens certain times, and I think you know what those times are." He sucked her earlobe into his mouth for good measure and she visibly tensed under his arm.

"Damian, quit!" She whispered back hotly as she loosed herself from his grasp.

"Just having some fun, love." He smirked as she walked away from him, up toward his parents. Yeah, he knew when his accent got more pronounced. Only when he was feeling certain things…certain emotions. Anger, lust, sadness…but it was definitely at its worst when he was horny.

"Mr. McGinty? I can take my bag. It's really not that heavy." He watched as Lindsay walked in stride with his father.

"Nonsense, dear. You're our guest for the week. And please, call me Joe. Mister makes me feel old." He waved a hand at her to let her know that she wasn't getting her bag back until they got to the house.

"Well thank you, Joe. Now I know where Damian gets the chivalry from." _Always the flatterer, his girlfriend. _Damian thought to himself.

He'd suddenly become interested in the conversation when his mother started talking about him. "You know that Damian is a Jr, right Lindsay?" Lindsay turned around and shot him an incredulous look.

"I didn't know that, Mrs. McGinty. How he's forgotten to mention that in the five years I've known him, I have no idea." He winked at her and she turned back around to chat with his mother.

"Probably because the guys in CT called him Junior for the longest time. I don't think he's rather fond of it. And please, love, call me Caitlin. I can see how happy you make him, so you might as well be considered family." Damian all but dropped his bag as his mother's words reached his ears. Lindsay turned around, a large grin on her face, mouthing at him, '_I love you.'_

He was more convinced now that this would be the girl he would be marrying. He just _knew_ it.

_**Words fall through me and always fool me and I can't react.**_

_The second time he kissed her._

Insistent pounding brought him out of his peaceful slumber, the dream of the electrifying blue eyes quickly becoming a foggy memory. Groaning, he forced himself to roll out of the confines of his overly large bed. Clad in sweatpants, he made his way over to the front door, fully expecting Cameron to be out there.

"Cam, I swear to-" His eyes were drawn to the blue ones he'd been previously dreaming about. Only they weren't nearly as electric as they usually were. Instead they were dull and almost grey like.

"Shit. Sorry Damo, I'll just go home. I didn't think you'd be asleep." Turning on her heels, she was stopped as his fingers wrapped around her wrist and he pulled her in the modest apartment. He led her over to the plush couch, falling backwards and pulling her down with him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Her head whipped towards him as she bit down slightly on her bottom lip. Her eyes narrowed at him before she spoke, "Talk about what?"

"Obviously something's wrong, Linds. You wouldn't have been knocking on my front door at three in the mornin' if everything was fine. Plus, you're crying." He really didn't do well with crying girls, but being on Glee meant seeing someone cry pretty much every scene they shot, so he'd gotten over it…some.

"I kicked Rob out." He wanted to jump up and down at her confession. He'd always hated that guy, and the fact that Lindsay had asked him to move in with her was just another blade that went through his heart. "We broke up, and I kicked him out."

"I'm sorry, Linds. What happened?" Wrapping his arm over her shoulders he pulled her into his bare chest as a fresh wave of tears fell from her eyes.

"He's been cheating on me for the past few months. How didn't I see that, Damian? So fucking stupid." She buried her head into his chest, inhaling his musky scent.

"Hey now, you aren't stupid. I'd say he's the stupid one for screwing up something so special."

"I'm not special." Reaching up to wipe at her tears, she shifted her body into his lap. He stilled for a moment before reaching up and tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"I don't know how you don't see just how special you are, Lindsay." He suddenly became aware just how naked he was, and his cheeks blushed a light pink.

"Modesty looks good on you." Tilting her head towards his, she felt his hands dance over her arms before they made their way up to settle on her neck.

"I'm going to kiss you, now." He leaned in towards her lips.

"I have a feeling I'm going to like it." She chuckled as he closed the infinitesimal gap between them. His lips met hers. It wasn't like any other kiss she'd ever experienced. It was soft and simple, but she could feel the sparks building behind it as his tongue made to caress her bottom lip.

He pulled away long before she was willing to let him, "Who said you were allowed to stop kissing me?"

Her ears were met with a chuckle before her lips were once again covered with his.

_**And games that never amount to more than they're meant, will play themselves out.**_

_The third time he told her he loved her._

"Damian? Where are you?" Lindsay opened the door to the apartment, letting herself in after knocking a few times and getting no answer. She could hear mumbling and rustling coming from the hallway.

"I'll be there in a second babe. _ Shit, Cameron. Put that somewhere."_ She dropped her purse on the kitchen counter, following the voices down the hall. Turning into the bathroom, her jaw dropped open and she let out a small gasp. Standing in front of her was a very haggard looking Cameron, currently wrapping an ace bandage around her boyfriend's bare torso. Both men turned to look at her, a look of horror sweeping across Damian's face.

"What the _hell_ happened to you?" She quickly made her way into the bathroom, carefully unwrapping the bandage Cameron had almost secured.

"You should see the other guy if you think this is bad." He let out a little chuckle, wincing as her hands made contact with his ribs. Feeling dizzy, he stepped away from her, placing his hands against the edge of the sink counter.

"I repeat. What the hell happened to you Damian?"

"Robert came by with some of his buddies. Apparently he thinks it's my fault you broke things off with him. Stupid git." Lindsay and Cameron both had to press their hands against their mouths to keep from letting the giggles out.

"Okay, stay here. I'll be right back." Quickly making her way to the freezer, she pulled out two large bags of frozen peas and a filled a smaller ziplock with ice.

"Here, Cam. Hold these for a minute." Walking back into the bathroom, she shoved the cold products into Cameron's open arms. Opening the bathroom cabinet, she rummaged around until she pulled out the tube she was looking for. Placing some of the cool gel onto her hand, she carefully spread it over the bruise that was quickly forming on Damian's side.

Letting out a groan, he squeezed his eyes shut. "Shit. That's really tender."

She grabbed one of the bags of peas from Cameron and gently placed in on the offending purple spot and instructed Damian to hold it there. Making quick work of the ace bandage, she secured it around his middle and went to work on his hand. It was puffy and bruised, so she took the bag of ice from Cameron placing it on Damian's knuckles and quickly wrapped another ace bandage around it.

"Cam, hand me that other bag of peas and help him get into bed. I'll be there in a second Damo." Walking into the living room, she dialed the all too familiar number and waited for the asshole on the other line to pick up.

"Hello?"

"What the hell is your problem, Rob? You can't just go around beating people up." She ran a hand over her face to calm herself, listening to the sigh on the other end.

"If it makes you feel any better Linds, I look ten times worse than he does. Fucker got in some pretty good shots."

She was seething. "Serves you right, you ass. And you look ten times worse than he does because he's ten times the man you'll ever be. Don't call me, don't try to see me and leave Damian the hell alone." She quickly pressed the end call button on her phone before throwing it across the room, effectively shattering it.

"He's in bed and asking for you to stop yelling so you can go take care of him." She whirled around to face a tired looking Cameron. Walking up to him, she pulled his torso into her body for a hug; one which he returned.

"Thank you for taking care of him for me. But if something like this ever happens again and you don't call me, I will kill you Cameron Mitchell." She heard him gulp and released him.

"Sure thing, Linds." Grabbing the last bag of peas off of the counter, she made her way into the bedroom.

"You look like hell, babe." Damian was laying on his back, careful not to move.

"I feel much, much worse." He hissed as she sat on the edge of the bed and pressed the frozen bag carefully to his black and swollen eye. She leaned down and peck his lips with hers.

"I love you, Linsday."

"I love you too, Damian. Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."

_**Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time.**_

_The fourth time she'd broken his heart. _

He wasn't even sure what was going on. One minute she was seconds from being naked and moaning underneath him and the next they were yelling at each other, tears rolling down both of their faces. They'd had this same argument a few times, one of them would say something they didn't mean, the other one would get pissed off and he usually ended up staying at Cameron's for the next few days until Cam and Marcy made them talk about how stupid they were being.

But this time it was different. It was almost like she was deliberately trying to hurt him.

"Dammit, Damian. I'm not gonna sit here and let you choose your career over love again!" She'd slipped her(his) shirt back on, pulling open the bedroom door and briskly making her way to the living room they conveniently leant to Sam while he was currently moving apartments.

"What the hell are you going on about, Lindsay?" Joining her in the living room, he noticed an amused Samuel perk up from his makeshift bed from the couch.

"I know about the tour, okay? Your mom accidentally let it slip when I was on the phone with her earlier making their flight arrangements so they could come to the wedding we're supposed to have in two months. TWO MONTHS, DAMIAN!"

He suddenly grew very quite as he realized just what was going on. "Love, I-"

Lindsay cut him off, running a shaky hand through her newly died black hair. "Quit trying to defuse this, Damian. We need to have this conversation. You, sit!" She whirled around and pointed a bony finger at Sam who held his hand up in surrender and fell back onto the couch. "I need a witness in case I murder him."

"Lindsay, can we please just go back to bed? And talk about this when it's not two in the mornin'?" He suddenly felt very naked standing in the room only in a pair of baggy basketball shorts.

"No, because this needs to get done. Now!"

"Well what the hell do you want from me Lindsay, cause I'm kind of at a loss right now." His patience for this conversation was quickly wavering and he was certain he was going to start cussing in Gaelic at any point in time.

"I want you to quit running from us, Damian. That's all you ever do! Oh, I'm Damian _fucking_ McGinty and when things get tough, I make a run for it back to the homeland." Her hands were placed her hips, he face red from anger, embarrassment? He wasn't sure which.

"Could you not fucking make fun of me right now?" He rolled his eyes at her attempt to copy his accent; something he normally would've found adorable, was seriously pushing his buttons the wrong way.

Taking careful steps towards her, he opened his mouth again, his voice deep and his accent very prominent, "Again, what do you want from me? Keith called mam and asked her if he thought I'd want to tackle the last leg of the European tour with them. I never even gave them an answer, that's why I didn't tell you."

"Just because you didn't answer them doesn't mean you shouldn't have told her about it, bro." Damian and Lindsay had all but forgotten about Sam's presence.

"Shut up, Sam!" If they weren't fuming at each other, they would've found the whole thing to be quite comical.

"He has a point though, Damian. We're supposed to be getting married in two months. You can't keep this kind of stuff from me."

"I'm fucking sorry, Lindsay. I didn't think-"

"That's right, you didn't think. And look who it hurt in the end." Her voice was barely above a whisper as she backed away from him and into their room before slamming the door.

"Lindsay, c'mon love. Please let me in." Damian pounded hopelessly on the door until he slid down it, giving into the emotions boiling in the pit of his stomach. The tears danced on his cheeks as he repeated her name over and over, getting no response.

After ten minutes of watching his best friend break down, Sam got up and walked over to their bedroom door, squatting down so his face was level with Damian's.

"You fucked up, dude." He was met with piercing blue eyes.

"You think?" Sam extended his arm, holding his hand out for Damian to grab onto. As he pulled his fragile friend to his feet, he clasped the other hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks, Samuel. I'm gonna go crash in the spare room." That was the last thing Damian remembered before hitting the bed and letting his subconscious mind take over.

He'd woken up, completely unaware of his surroundings. He sat up in the unfamiliar bed and rubbed his eyes until flashes of the night before ran through his mind.

_Shit. I did really fuck up._ Blindly grabbing for his phone on the bedside table, his hand came in contact with metal and paper. Forcing his eyes to focus, he grabbed the offending items off of the desk and gulped loudly as he realized what they were. His promise ring and her engagement ring on a chain, and a letter.

_Damian, _

_I can't do this anymore. _

_I can't handle you lying to me._

_I love you._

_Lindsay._

That was is? Another piece of paper landed in his lap and he let out a hurtful chuckle as he realized what is was. A plane ticket home.

**So when I woke up, I was all alone. With a broken heart and a ticket home. And I ask you friend, what's a fella to do? If her hair was black and her eyes were blue.**

Looks like he's going on tour again.

_**Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice. You've made it now.**_

_The fifth time he got drunk with her._

"Drink! Drink! Drink!" Despite the loud music in the club, Damian could still hear the chants of his closest friends as the bartender poured the clear liquid into a shot glass that was sitting right in front of him. Usually he could hold his liquor, but this being his eleventh shot of tequila, his head was slightly spinning.

Turning towards Lindsay and smirking, he had to do a double take. Her head was tilted, exposing her neck that had a patch of salt on it and she had a lime pressed in between her thumb and forefinger. Standing behind her was a very drunk, very amused looking Keith.

"Alright, Damo. You only turn 21 once, so we've prepared a modified version of a body shot." He could hear the catcalls and whooping behind him, but he could only concentrate on one thing…his sexy girlfriend. Walking over to her, he placed his hands roughly on her hips and pulled her body flush against his. Craning her neck so he could get better access to the salt, Lindsay could hear his breathing becoming rapid as his tongue quickly approached its destination.

He could feel her pulse racing under his tongue and wondered if this was affecting her as much as it was affecting him. The hardening bulge in the front of his jeans was enough to give him away. His expertly drew hard yet lazy patterns on her neck before finally pulling away and downing the shot of alcohol. He turned back around, expecting Lindsay to hand him the lime.

Boy was he wrong. The lime was placed in her mouth, the meat facing out towards him. Desperate to not only get the taste of the tequila off of his tongue, but also to feel her lips on his, he pulled her close to him and placed his lips over the lime. Pulling away from her, he dug his teeth into the lime and sucked out the juice before pulling it completely out of his mouth. The need to be close to her again overpowered all other thoughts as he attacked her lips with his once again.

She gasped at his forcefulness and he took the opportunity to invade her mouth with his tongue, sensually massaging hers with it. She giggled against his mouth as they both heard Keith yelling something along the lines of, "_Get it, boy!"_

Pulling away from her, he glared over her head at the other man. "Shut up, Keith!"

Before he knew what was happening, Lindsay had grabbed the front of his shirt and was pulling him out on to the dance floor. _Uh oh. What is she doing? She knows I can't dance._

As if reading his mind, she turned on her heels to face him. Pulling his head down to meet hers she whispered in his ear, "It's like having sex with your clothes on. Relax a little bit, Damian."

What he wouldn't have done to get her home and underneath him in that moment…

_**Falling slowly, eyes that know me and I can't react.**_

_The sixth time they made love._

Lindsay looked over her shoulder at the full-length mirror one last time. The dark shirt was unbuttoned, sliding purposefully down her shoulders to rest in the crook of her elbows as a tendril of her long, dark hair curled around her right breast. With barely there makeup, and halfway undressed, there was no way he would be able to resist. Yet, still...she had her doubts. She tried to push them away, reminding herself that she could do this. She knew how to be sexy.

"Damian?" Her voice reverberated off the tile walls off the bathroom as she grasped the doorknob and freed herself from self-conscious prison.

"In the kitchen, love." His response filtered down the hallway as her dainty bare feet carried her in the direction of the living room.

_It's now or never. _

Tiptoeing into the kitchen, she noticed that he was only in his sweatpants. _What is it with those damn sweatpants of his?_ She audibly gulped, causing Damian to turn.

It all happened so fast, she could barely register it. The only sound she could hear was the shattering of the glass casserole dish as it slipped from his hands and hit the tiled floor. Growing self-conscious of his never faltering eyes on her almost nude body she began to button the shirt back up, silently scolding herself for thinking she could be sexy.

Before she could get the buttons done, he swiftly made his way over to her and pulled her hands away from her body and placed them over his shoulders.

"What are you doing?" His accent was very prominent, his voice deep and lustful.

"Trying to be sexy. It's not working."

She blushed as he grabbed one of her hands and placed in on the swiftly growing bulge in his sweats. Pressing his hips closer to her he hung his head down to hear ear, "Feels like it's working to me."

He hurriedly undid the buttons once again and slid the shirt from her shoulders so she was standing there completely nude, his sweatpants tenting in his excitement.

"That shirt looks better on you than it does me, but nothing beats how it looks on the floor." Pulling her naked body against his, he captured her lips in a searing kiss. He all but growled as he felt her delicate fingers dip into the waistband of the offending article of clothing separating the two and pull roughly at it.

Nipping at the sensitive skin on his neck she moaned, "These need to come off, now."

Laying on his back with the covers barely covering his bottom half, Damian had an arm under Lindsay's neck as she was on her side facing him.

They laid there in a comfortable silence until he rolled onto his side to face her. "What brought all that on?"

Lindsay's soft skin instantly turned a light shade of pink as she attempted to hide her head in his chest. Placing two calloused fingers underneath her chin, he lifted her head up to make her look at him.

Sheepishly smiling, she shrugged, "I dunno. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could be sexy."

"Love, you are the sexiest thing to ever walk this earth. Don't ever doubt that."

_**And moods that taint me and erase me and I'm painted black.**_

_The seventh time he cried in front of her._

"What if it's me? What if I'm the reason we can't have kids?" Damian sat on the tile of the bathroom floor, his head resting in his hands as Lindsay sat on the edge of the bathtub, a little white stick cradled in her hands.

She sighed as she placed a hand on his shoulder, willing him to look up at her, "Hey, we just started trying to get pregnant Damian. It'll happen when it happens."

"There's something wrong with me. I know there is." _Jesus, these eight minutes are taking way too long._

"There is nothing wrong with you. A lot of couples don't get pregnant right away when they first start trying. Please don't lose hope, babe. If it doesn't happen in the next couple of months, we'll go see a doctor about it. A fertility doctor-"

He instantly tuned her out. _Infertility? There's no way he wasn't fertile. Sure, he'd taken a few hits to the boys in his lifetime, but what guy hadn't? _

"What if it's me? What if I'm the one who's not fertile? Damian, what if _I _can't give _you_ children? Great, now we're both freaking out. I need to call Hannah or something." Snapping out of his own thoughts, he grabbed her hand as she stood from the tub. Gently pulling her down into his lap he rubbed a strong, warm hand up and down her back. She could hear him start to hum, before the most beautiful sounds came from his mouth. She knew that wasn't English, so she assumed he was singing in Gaelic, something he did often to comfort her. She leaned into his chest and deeply inhaled his scent.

Although she had no idea what he was singing about, she found herself humming along with him, his arms circling her small torso. He rocked them back and forth as she let her eyes slip closed, but was instantly startled when the alarm on his phone went off. His electric blue eyes met her copycat ones as they both stopped rocking.

"I love you no matter what that test says, love." She knew by how low his voice was that he was already trying to hold back the tears of disappointment.

"It's now or never." She stood from his lap and pulled the test off of the edge of the tub. The tears welling in her eyes were enough to tell him the devastating news so he pulled himself off the ground and pulled her into a hug.

"We'll try again, Linds. We'll have a baby, I promise." She nodded against his chest, the tears pouring faster down her cheeks. He pulled away slightly to look at her, but was surprised when he was greeted with a smile adorning his love's face.

"Wha-?" He stopped himself when she held the stick up to his face. _Two pink lines. No fucking way!_

"You're-"

"Pregnant." She finished the sentence for him, as he sank to the tile floor once more. Her ears were met with sniffling and his head once again found solace in his hands.

"Damian? What's wrong baby?" She knelt down beside him, gently placing her hands under his chin to force him to look up at her. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were damp with tears that he couldn't will to stop running down his face.

"I am so fucking happy right now, Lindsay." He grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her lips to his, placing a chaste kiss on them.

"Then why are you sitting on the ground, crying you goofball?" Plucking his lips with hers once more, she stood back up, offering her hand out to 'pull' him up.

"Tears of joy, love. Tears of joy." Leaning his body into hers, she soon found her back being pressed firmly against the wall, his lips on her neck. Nipping and then soothing the small bites with his tongue, she couldn't seem to get Damian's attention.

"Damian."

Breathless, he pulled back to look at her. His eyes got wide as he released his grip on her arms, "I didn't hurt you did I? Shit love, I'm so sor-"

Pressing a slender finger against his lips, she shut him up.

"No, honey. You didn't hurt me. But we need to call Mom. Remember that conversation after the honeymoom? 'Damian Joseph McGinty Jr. If you don't call me when you get your wife pregnant I will have your head on a stick!' And I quite like your head on your body." Lacing his fingers together and placing his hands on his head, he raised an eyebrow.

"We'll call her tomorrow. I have plans to celebrate with said wife," His voice got deeper and very husky as he whispered into her ear, "All. Night. Long."

_**Well you have suffered enough, and warred with yourself. It's time that you won.**_

_The eighth time he held her as she cried._

He'd groaned as he felt Lindsay shift from beside him. Waking him from his peaceful slumber, his senses seemed to come alive as his ears were filled with the cries of the newborn in the bedroom next to theirs.

"I'll get her babe. You've got to get up early in the morning." Rolling back over, he fell fast asleep again only to be woken back up by crying he knew wasn't the baby. He slowly got out of bed and made his way to the nursery. The sight he was greeted with broke his heart. Lindsay was rocking Katherine and both were crying.

He walked into the nursery and knelt down beside the rocker. "What's wrong, love."

"She just won't stop crying. And I don't know what to do." He swiftly took Katherine out of Lindsay's arms and the newborn immediately stopped crying…and that only made her mother cry harder.

"She h-hates me-e." She hiccupped and put her face in her hands.

"She doesn't hate you, Lindsay, she just wanted her daddy." He sank down the wall still cradling the small child. Walking over to the wall he was slumped against, she sat down beside him.

He heard her sniffling grow louder and he shifted the baby so he could put a comforting arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, tears rolling down her face.

"She doesn't hate you, baby. She's just turning into a daddy's girl."

"I think she's just gotten used to you singing to her."

_**Falling slowly, sing your melody.**_

_The ninth time he performed on a stage with her in the crowd._

_**Just saw singlindsay at the Celtic Thunder concert watching DamianMcGintyCT. These two are too adorable for words.**_

He would now know she was there. They'd just performed Amazing Grace and she'd positively bawled through the entire thing. Everything about him looked broken. Even during their upbeat numbers, he looked like someone had kicked his dog.

Sitting in the third row back, she jumped as the screams of many teenage girls met her ears. Looking back up at the stage, she saw him walk out and sit on the stairs. Wearing the black dress pants and his chest only covered by a white wife beater she could see the glinting of his promise ring and her engagement ring resting on a chain against his chest.

"I'm gonna do a song I haven't sung in a while. Is that okay?" Once again the screams startled her as she pulled her eyes away from his _very_ toned body. He grabbed onto the rings and held onto them for dear life as the music started. Yeah, she knew this song.

_Another summer day  
>Has come and gone away<br>In Paris and Rome  
>But I wanna go home<br>Mmmmmmmm_

May be surrounded by  
>A million people I<br>Still feel all alone  
>I just wanna go home<p>

_Oh, I miss you, you know_

His voice cracked with the emotion he'd tried to hold back the entire night. The entire audience grew quiet as he stood and started to pace the stage.

He'd completely missed the start of the next verse as Keith's voice in the talk back mic startled him. "She's here Damo." That was all the push he needed. He was going to show her how much leaving had affected him. How much he wanted to be with her, to be home.

_And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you  
>Each one a line or two<br>"I'm fine baby, how are you?"  
>Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough<br>My words were cold and flat  
>And you deserve more than that<em>

Another aeroplane  
>Another sunny place<br>I'm lucky, I know  
>But I wanna go home<br>Mmmm, I've got to go home

She didn't miss the fact that he was looking for her. And it didn't go unnoticed when he saw her…by anyone. Making a beeline for the stairs that led down to the audience, the screaming didn't seem to startle either of them, their eye contact never breaking. She held in a chuckle as she saw the body guards desperately trying to keep up with the man whom she loved with ever fiber in her body.

_Let me go home  
>I'm just too far from where you are<br>I wanna come home_

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life  
>It's like I just stepped outside<br>When everything was going right  
>And I know just why you could not<br>Come along with me  
>'Cause this was not your dream<br>But you always believed in me

He'd finally made it to her. He'd pushed his way through the crowd to get to her. He'd gotten his shirt ripped, his pants dirty, but he couldn't care less. She was the only thing that had been on his mind the whole night…the whole year. Sure, they'd talked, but it wasn't the same as seeing her.

Tears freely pouring down his face, he took her hands in his. Marveling at how whole he felt again, he poured the rest of his heart into the song, trying to tell her exactly how he felt.

_Another winter day has come  
>And gone away<br>In even Paris and Rome  
>And I wanna go home<br>Let me go home_

_And I'm surrounded by_  
><em>A million people I<em>  
><em>Still feel all alone<em>  
><em>Oh, let me go home<em>  
><em>Oh, I miss you, you know<em>

_Let me go home_  
><em>I've had my run<em>  
><em>Baby, I'm done<em>  
><em>I gotta go home<em>  
><em>Let me go home<em>  
><em>It will all be all right<em>  
><em>I'll be home tonight<em>  
><em>I'm coming back home<em>

Dropping her hands, he'd pulled the necklace from around his neck and pulled off her ring before stuffing the chain and his ring in his pocket. Dropping down to one knee, he grabbed her left hand in his and held the ring up to her.

"Lindsay Pearce, I want to come home. Will you marry me?" She covered her mouth in surprise. She'd never even thought he'd know she'd been watching him. Nodding her head, he slipped the ring back on her ring finger which had felt very empty for the past year.

Jumping up, he wrapped his arms around her waist picking her up off the ground, and spun her in a slow circle before placing her feet back on the floor and leaning down to place a gently kiss on her lips.

"Thank you for letting me come home." They'd almost forgotten where they were until loud cheering had brought them back to reality. Reaching into his pocket, Lindsay pulled out the chain and his ring, placing it back around her neck.

"I will always let you come home, Damian."

_**I'll sing along.**_

_The tenth time she'd saved his life._

She'd gotten the call from Keith about two months after he left. It couldn't have been true. Her Damian wouldn't have ever done anything like what they were saying.

"Why would I make this up, Lindsay? He's just been so depressed. We didn't know who else to call. He won't eat and he barely sleeps." Sighing, she clutched the phone tighter to her ear.

"Don't tell him I'm coming. Don't act different around him. I can probably get a flight out of LA today."

"Thank you." She barely heard the broken man's response, but she nodded none-the-less.

"I'll call you when I land."

Five hours later she'd found herself waiting for Paul and Keith at DFW in Texas. She couldn't believe she'd done this. She's left him for a good reason. She'd promised herself she wouldn't try to even talk to him for the remainder of this tour. But she couldn't shake the underlying concern she'd heard in Keith's voice when she'd talked to him. He was pleading her to do something, to bring back the Damian they all knew…to get rid of the shell of the man he was rapidly becoming.

"Well if it isn't Lindsay Pearce as I live and breathe." The unmistakable accent had flooded her ears, making her tear up on the spot. She whirled around, facing the two men who'd become like brothers to her.

"Paul, Keith!" Quickly making her way over to the two men, her face instantly brightened. Dropping her bags as she neared them, she soon found herself being pulled into hugs by the two. Paul leaned down to kiss her cheek as Keith grabbed her long forgotten bag.

"Let's get to the car and then we'll talk about why you're here. Don't need that kind of press. Not that Damian's not doing a good job of turning this whole thing into a train crash anyway…" Lindsay tuned out at the sound of his name.

The journey to the car had been interesting to say the least. The press had gotten word that Keith and Paul were at the airport to pick her up, and all three were surrounded as they stepped into the brisk winter air.

"Lindsay, are you here to see Damian?"

"Have you heard the things that have been going on?"

"Lindsay, do you have anything to say about Damian being spotted taking a woman into his hotel room?" The last question had her stopping dead in her tracks. She looked up at Paul with her eyes full of worry…of confusion. He shook his head slightly and gave her a look that said he'd explain it all once they were away from nosey ears.

"We're having a great time on tour, guys, but we really do need to be going. Thank you." Keith, always the peacemaker, gently pushed Lindsay into the car before climbing in behind her. Paul gave one last wave before joining the two and signaling the driver towards the hotel.

"We just don't know what to do. He won't talk to any of us. He hit Keith the other day." She raised a hand to her mouth to stop the gasp from being audible as she looked over at the younger of the two men. When she really looked, it was only then that she noticed the slight bruise around his left eye. Shaking her head in disappointment, she gingerly reached up to press at the dark skin.

"Don't worry 'bout it, I got a few in before Ryan and George pulled me off of him. Honestly though, I'm kinda glad he hit me. First time I saw any kind of emotion in his eyes in weeks. They've been so dull and empty." Pulling Lindsay's hand away from his face and grabbing onto it tightly, he looked directly into her eyes and continued to speak, "That thing the reporter said about him having another woman here, it's true. But it was his cousin Amelia. I'm not quite sure why people haven't figured that one out yet. Please help him, Lindsay." She could've sworn she'd seen tears form in his eyes, but his gaze faltered and he looked away, dropping her hands.

"We get up at 6 in the mornin' or so, go to breakfast that he skips, do interviews and such, soundcheck, go get ready for the show, perform and when we come back, he gets beer and takes it to his room without saying anything to any of us. And that's where he stays all night…drinking alone in his room. I think I've seen him eat twice in the past week." Paul sighed as they pulled up to the hotel they were staying in for the night.

"Leave your bag, we'll get it. Just please do something." Upon hearing Keith's request she shot up the stairs of the hotel.

"Lindsay! 1804." She nodded, understanding that they were telling her his room number. Running into the hotel lobby and making her way over to the elevator, she realized that she didn't have a key to his room. She doubted he'd even let her in. If he'd left her and the tables were turned, she wouldn't want anything to do with him.

He didn't know what to do anymore. The days without her were becoming worse. He was becoming worse. He hated what he'd become…but he couldn't stop. He drank until he passed out. Or he cried until he passed out. He wasn't sure which on was worse.

Pacing back and forth between the bathroom door and his room door, Damian clutched a bottle of beer in his hand.

"Fucking idiot! There's no way to make this right. You're a screw up. You don't deserve her." Throwing the bottle across the room, he was actually startled when it hit the wall and shattered.

Rooted in front of his door, Lindsay started as she heard glass shattering from in the room. Acting on instinct she pounded on his door. Her ears were met with his delightful voice.

_Like a bird without wings  
>That longs to be flying,<br>Like a motherless child  
>Left lonely and crying.<em>

She was almost certain the whole floor could hear him. He was singing so loud, he was almost screaming. As she scooted closer to the door, she saw Paul and Keith catch up to her. It was as if his voice had rooted them in their tracks.

"There's only one time he sings that song…we really should get you in there." Keith took a step towards the door and pounded his fist against it.

"Damian, open the door. We need to talk to you." Paul called from the other side of her. Their banging and yelling had brought the other guys from Celtic Thunder out of their respective rooms.

"That Damo?" Emmett rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he walked over to the trio.

"Yeah. Shite, you need to get someone in there." Neil walked over to Lindsay and pounded on the door with Paul.

"What's going on? I've never even heard that song. What did you mean there's only one time he sings it?" Lindsay face was panic stricken. She'd never seen the group of six guys this desperate to talk to Damian.

"Ryan, go get the master keys from Sharron! Tell her it's Damo, she'll understand."

"Damian!"

"Damian, open the door!"

"Open the fucking door or it's getting kicked it!"

_**What the hell is going on?**_

_Like a song without words  
>Like a world without music,<br>I wouldn't know what to do  
>I'd be lost without you<br>Watchin' over me._

He could hear them all hollering at him. First Paul and Keith, then he heard Neil and Emmett and lastly he heard George yelling at Ryan to get the key to get into his room. He knew he had to make everything quick if he didn't want them stopping him.

He gingerly stepped over to the broken beer bottle, studying the pieces of glass. Picking up one sliver of it, he made his way into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He turned on the shower and stepped into it fully clothed.

Sinking down to the porcelain bottom, he let the hot tears run down his face.

"I'm so sorry, Lindsay."

_You're my guardian angel  
>My light and my guide<br>Your hand on my shoulder  
>And you by my side.<br>You make everything beautiful,  
>You make me complete.<br>Everything in my world  
>I lay at your feet..<em>

His singing came to an abrupt stop and everyone stopped yelling through the walls. Ryan ran back up to the group, key in hand. He quickly handed it to Paul who shoved the key in the lock and pushed the door open. They guys stayed back as Lindsay wondered into the room. She looked around, seeing what she assumed was the glass she'd heard shattering, but she saw no other signs of Damian.

Walking over to the closed bathroom door, she pressed her ear against it. She could hear the shower running, but she couldn't hear anything else.

"Damian?" She called his name over and over, pounding on the door. She was positive he'd have come out after hearing her voice.

"He in the shower?" She jumped as Keith's voice sounded behind her.

"Yeah. Something's wrong Keith." Trying the door knob and being unsuccessful, she looked back at him.

"Guys! We could use some help." Keith pulled Lindsay out from in front of the door before throwing his shoulder into it. The fragile frame gave way and Lindsay stepped into the bathroom. Nothing would've prepared her for what her eyes were met with.

"Oh, God! Damian." Her eyes landed on the man she loved. He was fully clothed slumped in the shower. Blood was pooling next to the drain. A small piece of the glass she'd seen on entering his room sat beside his outstretched leg.

Quickly making her way to him, she turned off the shower and stepped in, pulling his almost lifeless body towards her.

"Guys! I need some help!" Stepping into the bathroom slowly, they all stopped upon seeing the scene in front of him.

"Guys! Help!" Paul and Keith quickly stepped forward gently grabbing Damian and pulling him out of the tub.

"Someone call 911. He's losing a lot of blood."

Saying he was confused when he woke up was a complete understatement. His forearms were aching and he couldn't remember what was going on. The last thing remembered was – "Oh, God."

"Yeah, oh God sounds about right." He looked over to where the voice was coming from. Paul and Keith sat beside him. Neil, George, Ryan and Emmett were all standing, leaning against a wall of the hospital room.

"What the hell were you thinking, Damo." Keith ran a hand through his golden locks as he placed the other one in Damian's palm. "You gave all of us a right good scare."

"I wasn't thinking. Which one of you found me?" He noticed them all look away from him. Scooting up in the bed a little bit, he looked around. He saw the sleeping form of a girl in a chair on the other side of his bed. He would've recognized that hair anywhere.

"Lindsay?" He whispered tears pooling in his eyes.

"She saved you, man. Like literally, you stopped breathing before the medics got there. She gave you CPR." He looked down at his arms, seeing the white bandages for the first time.

"I'm so fucking stupid."

"I'd say so." Seven pairs of eyes landed on the woman who'd suddenly sat up straight in the chair.

"I'm so sorry. To all of you."

* * *

><p><em>Alrighty guys, so the part titled <span>The sixth time they made love<span>_ actually started out quite graphic until someone pointed out that it might be offensive to some, so I've posted the excerpt from it that's definitely rated M

Here it is: .net/s/7361205/1/This_Was_Not_Your_Dream_excerpt

Let me know what you guys think.

-Amber


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